Detective work, minus the paperwork: L.A. Noire

If developer Rockstar Games is known for anything, it is their ability to create massive and detailed open-world environments. Games like the "Grand Theft Auto" series and "Red Dead Redemption" delivered some of the most impressive in-game worlds of all time, allowing players to explore virtual representations of everything from the old west to expansive modern cities. The most common criticism these games receive is that while the environments are extraordinary, the games squander their potential by having players repeat the same type of missions again and again. Unfortunately, Rockstar's latest title, "L.A. Noire" suffers just as badly from these shortcomings.

"L.A. Noire" has players stepping into the shoes of returning war hero and rookie cop Cole Phelps in 1940's Los Angeles. The game begins with Cole as a simple beat cop, but after a few successful collars he is promoted to detective. With each new department promotion, Cole is assigned to investigate more high profile cases.

While it would have been easy to make the game "Grand Theft Auto" from a cop's perspective, Rockstar decided to go an entirely different route with "L.A. Noire." Rather than driving around acquiring missions, each case plays out like a chapter in the pulp detective novels the game draws its inspiration from. Players are told where to go to investigate, then spend their time examining crime scenes for evidence, questioning witnesses and trying to draw confessions from suspects. The entire experience feels more like a point-and-click adventure than a "GTA" clone.

The game's major innovation is its motion-capture technology, which manages to make character's facial animations eerily realistic. As Cole questions these characters, players are tasked with watching their reactions, and using their body language to determine if they are telling the truth. If players believe the suspect is lying, they can call them out on it and use collected evidence to coax a confession from them. When it works as advertised, the experience is extremely satisfying.

The problem is getting everything to properly fall into place, which is frustrating.

The act of questioning suspects is essentially like taking a multiple choice test. The characters' body language is often too subjective to properly read, which can lead to false accusations that make the suspect shut down and stop cooperating. Not only that, when accusing someone of lying, corroborating evidence must be presented to back up the claim. Most crime scenes contain dozens of pieces of evidence, and more often than not choosing the right item to back up the accusation is trial and error.

But even if players completely botch the investigation, the game continues anyway. There is virtually no way to fail a case in "L.A. Noire." Cole simply tails the suspect's car until they arrive at a different location and catches them with some incriminating evidence, and arrests them. Or shoots them, or chases them depending on the case. And if players die during one of the tacked on action sequences, they restart from a checkpoint to try again. If players repeatedly die during an action sequence, they are given the option to skip it altogether and advance past it. It makes one wonder why Rockstar included these sequences at all, other than to appease shoot-em-up fans.

This could easily be forgiven if the gameplay remained engaging throughout the game, but sadly, it does not. The same basic mechanic is repeated again and again, with only the slightest variation between cases. After around the second hour, players will undoubtedly begin to feel that they have seen all the game has to offer.

Repetitive, simplistic gameplay aside, the game's biggest problem is the complete waste of the meticulously recreated version of Los Angeles. The game world is positively massive, easily Rockstar's biggest map to date, yet there is absolutely nothing to do in it. The only payoff for exploring the map is a handful of random street crime side missions, which can easily be overlooked since the game gives players the option to automatically move between locations. With such a spectacular world to explore, doing nothing with the majority of it is unforgiveable.

While the game falls far from its intended mark, it deserves credit for originality. The story is incredibly engaging, and the facial capture technology is quite impressive. In the end, it falls into the "Heavy Rain" category, a game with some good ideas that just did not live up to the hype surrounding it.

"L.A. Noire," available for PS3 and Xbox 360, receives a 6 out of 10

My personal River Song theory [Doctor Who]

There have been two driving mysteries this season: Amy’s pregnancy and who River Song is. So far, most of the speculation is that River is an existing character. Everyone from the Rani to Romana has been thrown out as River’s secret identity. But I think that would be far too obvious. No, I think River has a much more important role that’s been playing out behind the scenes.


We know very little about River. She’s an important figure from the Doctor’s future, who has been meeting him out of order. A former archeologist, River has spent a great deal of time imprisoned in the Stormcage Containment Facility for the crime of murder. In her own words, River killed “a very good man. Best man I've ever known." So far, the majority of us have believed the good man River murdered was the Doctor, for obvious reasons. But what if the good man was someone else entirely?


Behind the mystery of Amy’s pregnancy is the Silence, a mysterious alien group that has remained hidden on earth since the beginning of time. They have operated in the shadows, utilizing their ability to be forgotten as soon as visual contact is broken. We also know that they are seemingly trying to create a Tardis, as seen in the season 5 episode “The Lodger.” What remains unclear about the Silence is why exactly they’re trying to build a Tardis. Why would a group of people need to harness time travel so badly, and is there any mention of anyone other than Time Lords being able to manipulate time and space?


There absolutely is. The Time Agency, the organization Jack Harkness worked for when he first met The Doctor, has managed to create functional and accurate vortex manipulators that can move their agents through time and space. While not as advanced as a Tardis (the Doctor refers to it as a messy form of time travel) they still get the job done remarkably well.

But how did the Time Agency, an organization seemingly comprised of human agents, master time travel? They would likely have to gain access to Timelord technology, and reverse engineer it, or take it from someone who had already done so.

We already know that River Song’s past questionable at best. It’s entirely possible that when they first met, she and the Doctor were at odds. Though she often comes and goes as she pleases, River always returns to her cell in the Stormcage. She is willfully serving penance for the crimes in her past. As I mentioned earlier, we all assume it’s for killing the Doctor. But what if it’s for what she did prior to meeting him? Surely abducting someone close to him and trying to steal her unborn child Is worth atoning for. Also, while the Doctor is without a doubt worthy of the title of Best Man I’ve Ever Known” to those who’ve met him, The Doctor is largely unknown to the universe. Would killing him be enough to land River in a maximum security space prison?

No, but killing a well-known figure from earth surely would.


Enough idle speculating, time to lay my cards on the table: I believe we may be witnessing the birth of the Time Agency. My theory is that River Song is one of the founding members, her love of adventure and investigating ancient cultures leading her to fall in with the people who will one day become the Time Agency. These individuals are members of a very high-profile military initiative, and will do whatever they must to achieve their goals. This puts them in direct opposition to the Doctor, and at some point River betrays them and sides with the Doctor, possibly killing one of her former allies to save the Doctor’s life. It is possible River was extremely close to this person, potentially a lover or a family member. It is this murder River is imprisoned for.

Insane? Probably. Riddled with plot-holes? Definitely. Purely speculative? Completely.

But at least it isn’t another “River is totally the Rani” theory.

Tl;dr: I said stuff.

-B(!)

Image stolen from a more successful blog

Oh god, is it E3 again already?

Hey kids, it’s almost time for E3! The biggest event in gaming journalism is right around the corner, and as your resident armchair games journalist, I have prepared my annual list of predictions for the event.

Microsoft



After last year’s E3 showing, Microsoft made it clear they wanted a piece of the Wii’s motion control market. The Kinect was the forefront of the Xbox lineup, with only a small portion of their show devoted to the “hardcore” market. I’m not entirely sure which way this year’s event will go. The Kinect has enjoyed quite a bit of success, but it’s far from total market domination. It’s entirely possible Microsoft will launch Kinect 2.0, a completely redesigned model at a lower price. Along with this, expect to see a slew of new titles for the device including Dance Central 2, as well as some games that promise to appeal to seasoned gamers as well as the causal crowd.
In addition to that, I have a feeling MS will reveal a new entry into the Halo franchise. Whether that is a proper sequel or a spinoff like Reach I’m not sure, but the Xbox is sorely lacking exclusive titles, and Gears of War 3 will be too close to releasing to be much of a headliner. It’s also a safe bet that the next Call of Duty will be on display, hyping the new CoD Elite service as well as a shiny trailer of the campaign.

Left field, pulled out of my ass predictions:
-Playable Metal Gear Rising demo
-Bioshock Infinite footage
- GTA 5 reveal
-Batman Arkham City footage (with playable Catwoman footage)
-Fable IV announced, Peter Molyneux swears it will be the best game ever created

Sony



Oh, Sony. What can I possibly say? After an embarrassing public disgrace of your security, and the joke that your PSPgo and Move motion controllers have become, I wouldn’t blame you if you decided to skip E3 altogether. Still, gamers are a fickle bunch, and a stellar lineup could go a long way to repairing Sony’s public image.
But is Sony up to it? So far, the biggest rumors coming out of the company are a phone/psp hybrid called the Xperia. Have we learned nothing from the N-Gage?

R.I.P plastic gaming taco phone.


To be honest, I’m not expecting much from Sony this year. New footage of the already announced Uncharted 3 is a given, and short of a major reveal, I really don’t care.

Left field, pulled out of my ass predictions:
-New Final Fantasy
-New Ratchet and Clank title
-Refocused Move push
-Last Guardian gameplay footage
-METAL GEAR!

Nintendo



The clear winner of last year’s show, Nintendo came out on top by delivering beloved franchises with fresh takes. Kirby Epic Yarn and Donkey Kong Country Returns proved to be excellent games, though we’re still waiting on the new Legend of Zelda. All eyes are on the house Mario built to see if they can continue the momentum started last year, especially with their recently released 3DS handheld and rumor of a new console in development.
Personally, I would love to see the 3DS get a redesign with improved battery life, but it might be too soon for that. At the very least, expect a number of new titles to be announced for the device.
As for Nintendo’s new console, I have a feeling it will be the highlight of Nintendo’s show. It might be too early to show off much more than tech demos, but the thought of a new Nintendo console with current-gen level graphics is enough to give me a fangasm.

Yeah, that's pretty much what a fangasm looks like.



Left field, pulled out of my ass predictions:
-New 3DS titles include 2D Metroid, Super Mario Brothers 3D, Mario Kart, Portal
-New console named, priced, given release date
-The next Mario title will be bundled with the console at launch
-With the exception of Zelda, very little focus on the Wii.
This year’s E3 runs from June 7-9. I’ll be live-tweeting the major (read: broadcasted) press conferences, so if you don’t already follow Critical Hit! On Twitter, you should probably do that.


It should be fun. Or at the very least, entertaining. Ok, it'll probably suck, but what else are you going to do on a Monday afternoon?


-B(!)